For God’s Eyes Only
I desire to love God … without my love being known to anyone but God; to suffer [for God] … but have my suffering known only to him; … [so that] when I am called by God to dwell with him in heaven, I would be recognized only by him. (OOCC, X, p. 71; STA, 63)
One significant dimension of the spiritual life of St. Vincent Pallotti was his hidden spirituality. He was very particular about doing whatever he did only to be seen by God. He desired to love God. But, he did not want his act of loving God to be known to anyone except God. He desired to suffer for God, but he wanted this suffering to be known only to God. All through his life he performed manifold acts of kindness to other human person, but he wanted them to be seen only by God. He received many honors and distinctions during his lifetime, but he never declared them in public. He was involved in diverse apostolic endeavors, but he never proclaimed his success from the mountaintops. Thus, St. Vincent wanted to live in such a way that only God sees all that he did. Hence, like Jesus, he always wished to keep every good deed he performed a secret. He never attempted to parade his good actions in a grand manner. He carried out all his actions only to be seen by God. For St. Vincent Pallotti, the recognition by another human person is insignificant, but that which matters truly is the acknowledgement by God. He wanted to go unnoticed in this lifetime, for the importance he gains in the world is not a lasting one. He wanted to be noticed by God when he encountered him face-to-face in the life to come. This inspired St. Vincent to live here on earth for God’s eyes only.
How do I live the hidden spirituality of St. Vincent Pallotti in my life? Do I parade my good actions in a grand manner? Do I prefer man’s recognition or God’s acknowledgement? Am I able to live for God’s eyes only in my everyday living?
Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired, for then you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven … But when you do a kindness to someone, do it secretly – don’t tell your left hand what your right hand is doing. And your Father who knows all secrets will reward you. (Mt. 6: 1, 3-4)