December 11


Conversation among Members in the Community

In their conversation, let the members refrain from showing signs of annoyance and resentment or of being offended by anyone. Neither should they offend others by words, deeds, or in any manner. (OOCC, VIII, pp. 326 - 327; SD, p. 70)

Just as there is the need to regulate the diversity of opinions among the members in order to build up a healthy community, there is the need to direct the conversation among the members to foster better relationships. St. Vincent Pallotti takes keen interest in helping the members to regulate their conversation in the community. According to him, the members must not show any signs of annoyance in their conversations. Even if a person’s behavior might induce annoyance or irritation, the other must see that he does not express his annoyance in public so as to avoid unpleasantness in the relationship. Similarly, if a person has resentment towards some other person in the community, he must not act on his resentment in public which may bring about a conflict situation in the relationship. Likewise, if a person is offended by anyone, he must not pay back his hurt. Not only should a person restrict his reactions to other person’s behavior, but he should also regulate his own actions towards others. A person should not offend others by words, actions, or by any other way. Thus, for St. Vincent, the practice of these guidelines on a regular basis by all members of the community, especially with regard to one’s conversation with others, helps them to avoid unpleasantness and fosters better relationships with each other in the community.

Does my conversation with others destroy my relationship with them? Do I express my annoyance and resentment in public? Do I retaliate when others hurt me? What are some of the concrete steps I need to take in my life in order to make my conversation with others a means to build up genuine relationships?

Bless those who persecute; bless and do not curse. (Rom. 12: 14)