Humble Self-knowledge: Means to Sanctity
My entire life … is a story only of ingratitude, non-correspondence and malice on the part of a creature against his Creator. You alone [O God] can remedy my situation. (OOCC, X, p. 683; STA, 520)
For St. Vincent Pallotti, humble self-knowledge is a great means to God. In order to attain sanctity, one must have true self-knowledge. In his diary, St. Vincent refers to himself as a man of sin, a traitor, a crucifier, a horrible monster of every vice, an abyss of extravagances, and nothingness and sin. All these descriptions of St. Vincent might sound as if he had a very low self-image of himself. In fact, neither was he suffering from a low self-image complex, nor were these descriptions an over-emphasis of his misery. But these descriptions indicate the way he experienced himself as he placed himself before God who is infinite love and perfection. All these descriptions are attempts on the part of St. Vincent to know who he was before God so that he could open himself to God, who is the fullness of mercy and love. His self-knowledge made him realize that he was nothing before God and that he was in need of God’s mercy. This was the spirit of humility that marked the life of St. Vincent Pallotti. As he knelt before God in prayer, he felt that he was similar to the publican, unworthy of God’s presence, yet he was confident that God would fill his emptiness. Thus, St. Vincent’s self-knowledge did not lead him to despair, but caused him to place his entire life in God, who could make him great in every way.
Do I realize that true self-knowledge is a necessary condition for sanctity? Like St. Vincent, do I make an effort to know who I am before God and who God is to me? Does my self-knowledge lead me to despair or to count on God’s infinite mercy?
See you lowly ones, and be glad; you who seek, may your hearts be merry! For the Lord hears the poor. (Ps. 69: 33 – 34)