A Faithful God
My God, my sins have deserved death and hell, but you allow me to live … [and] to employ all the moments of my life for your greater glory and the greater sanctification of all souls. (OOCC, X, pp. 450 - 451; STA, 491)
St. Vincent Pallotti based his Christian life and apostolic ministry not on his faithfulness to God, but rather on God’s faithfulness to him. He was convinced that he was the most miserable among all creatures and he deserved death and hell for all his unfaithfulness. Therefore, he knew that he could not base his life on his faithfulness to God, for often time, there was more unfaithfulness than faithfulness in his life. Though he was disloyal in his dealings with God, he constantly experienced God’s loyalty to him. St. Vincent Pallotti felt that God’s fidelity to him was manifested in a special way by allowing him to live in this world as a person, as a Christian and as a priest. God had entrusted to St. Vincent an apostolic ministry aimed at the greater glory of God and the greater sanctification of human persons, which for St. Vincent, was the greatest sign of God’s steadfast love towards him. Though deeply sorry for his unfaithfulness to God, he was neither disappointed with himself nor discouraged in his apostolic ministry because of his failures. He believed that when the loyal and faithful God wanted an unfaithful Vincent to live for him and accomplish great things for him, his unfaithfulness should not be in the way to frustrate God’s plan for him. While constantly making efforts to remain loyal to God, St. Vincent Pallotti, like a dedicated warrior, fought the good fight for God despite his own periodic disloyalty to him.
Have I founded my Christian life and apostolic ministry on God’s faithfulness to me or on my faithfulness to God? Am I disappointed with myself or discouraged in my ministry because of my unfaithfulness? How do I respond to God for his loyalty to me?
Understand, then, that the Lord, your God, is God indeed, the faithful God who keeps his merciful covenant down to the thousandth generation. (Deut. 7: 10)